Morning Reservoir by Ati Tafao-Braganza
Good Morning, Striders!
How do you deal with failure?
I’ve experienced two general types of failure:
- Shock Failure – This is the failure that you never saw coming. Your boss comes back from vacation and pulls the plug on an important project. You wake up and realize you ate everything in your fridge during a lucid dream. Your car gets a flat tire on the way to the gym. Shock failures are the one’s that sneak up on you from behind. We often take more of the blame for shock failures than we should.
- Crawling Failure – This is the failure that results from distraction, ignored warning signs, lack of organization, or sheer laziness. Your house is no longer navigable due to massive piles of junk strewn everywhere. You get fired for always showing up late to work. You weigh 425 pounds. Crawling failures tend to be preventable things that spiral out of control because we fail to give them proper attention.
I was faced with a crawling failure this morning.
Last night, I stayed up too late. Instead of going to bed around 10pm, I wrote for awhile, replied to some emails, and chatted a bit online. By midnight I was terribly drowsy. I shut down my computer, got ready for bed, crawled under my down comforter, and fell asleep. Notice that I didn’t mention setting my alarm. Had I gone to bed while I was still fully aware of my surroundings I’d have remembered to set my alarm to wake me for my morning run. It didn’t.
Had I set my alarm and it somehow failed to function, I could have reminded myself that it was just a shock failure and to give myself a break. This wasn’t a shock though. This failure resulted from distraction, lack of organization, and a bit of laziness.
So I woke up on my own at 5:30, looked at the clock, and began to play the blame game. You know the one where you look for unproductive ways to express frustration? That one. At first I was furious with myself for being so stupid and staying up late when I knew better. I was tempted to tell myself that I had failed again because failure is what I’m best at. I was tempted to give up. I was tempted to drop back into a pattern of letting things slide until they blow up.
But I didn’t.
I thought about you and how I’d made a promise to share this journey with you even when I screw up. I laughed at myself for ever thinking that I was somehow immune to failure because I wrote the initial challenge. I pushed thoughts of the failure away and reminded myself of how good it feels to succeed. I quietly asked myself if I really wanted this. Just me.
And I did. I do. I will.
It is with a sheepish look that I use the pass I thought I wouldn’t need. I’m doubling-up on the distance I go today. Not because I feel like it will make up for the failure. But because I missed out on a chance to start my morning with a win and I want to have that feeling twice today.
That’s how I dealt with a failure. How do you deal with failures?
Check in, Striders!
I grabbed today’s challenge image from Ati’s blog. She has a great post today about eating and happiness.
Day 5 — I can’t believe I’m waking up early! This is superawesomecool. I’m on Day 6 here, and admittedly going back to bed. Late night plus waking up with some sick kids.
My legs hurt a lot yesterday, but I still did my steps. I put so much effort into it, my legs were shaking when I was done. I reminded myself of my focus word “svelte” and kept pushing.
Digging smoothies as a way to throw more veggies into my day. Thanks.
Keep singing!
SJA
I can believe it. =)
I’m so proud of you for pushing through the discomfort and getting your exercise portion done. Yeah! Way to make it happen!
I need to be better about pushing. Must be!
I’ll sing, quietly, alone, in the shower. =)
done.
I am smashing the 5@5 and will continue to do it and add on what you’ve sparked in front of me.
watch.out
Oh Yay!
I’m glad you’re enjoying it. =)
Day 6 – http://lxxiii.blogspot.com/2010/01/primal-stride-challenge-1-day-6.html
I did it, have to go to work. Sad face. BLAHHH!! So tired, wasn’t supposed to work yesterday or today.
But you DID IT! Props to you for not giving up even though your schedule has been wonky! =)
Shock failure – that’s what I’ve experienced this week. Tumbling down stairs was a big shock that resulted in failing at my plans to ace the 5@5 challenge. Dealing with it: for a couple of days, I whined and worried that my back was damaged. For the past couple of days, I’ve been planning how I’m going to make up for losing ground. This afternoon I’m taking a short test walk to see if I can get back to a longer walk tomorrow. Next week – watch out!
You’re such a tough person. I’m amazed that you were able to take such a scary tumble and come back fighting for more!
I doubt that anything can stop you at this point. I’m honored to have such a soldier along for this journey. You’re truly an inspiration. Thank you!
Next week is going to be fun. =)
Hey Seth. I just wanted to drop by and say, “Thank you for visiting my blog and for the referral on here.” And two- I am ridiculously proud of you. I look to you as a mentor- one in writing, and now in healthy-living. The fact that you try and you remain accountable to us is what has inspired me to do the same. I sometimes really HATE waking up and getting out there to do this 5K, but I think about you and my blog and I say, “Well, if you don’t get your a** up, what are you going to write about? Are you going to write about your FAILURE to go out because you were tired, especially when people like Sarah Joy Albrecht- with serious injuries, is going out and doing it despite their injuries? Stop being lame and just go.” Then I’m up and at ‘em and always happy that I did.
On that note- I’ll check back later to tell you about my Day 6. I need to go write about it first.
Ati, that is an amazing picture!
It only says morning reservoir… where are you?
You’re welcome. =) I love the photo… so I stole it. hehe.
Thanks for all your support and encouragement. I don’t know where I’m going to find a network like this when I’m skinnified! Let’s keep writing about successes, eh? I like those best.
I don’t see why not. It’s not like self-improvement stops with a person’s ideal weight, you know?
I’ve failed, therefore I hide. Refocusing and finding a better way for my busy body life… this has to change!
Deanna, don’t let the failure be the cause of future failure. When we fail we can learn from it and move on, or we can obsess and fail on.
“Refocusing and finding a better way” sounds like the former. Good for you!
Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. I’m glad you’ve stuck with us at least in spirit. =)
4:45 am again despite bad sleep.
1.60 miles treadmill, 10 miles on bike
Makin’ me feel terrible, tra! =)
I check in here & read even though I am not part of your challenge as I find it inspiring. I am a very early morn workout person & have always preferred that.. when I worked out at night after work, I never got as good a workout… too mentally tired with the physical too!
BUT, this “failure word”. I have posted about that as well & recently. Mine more in real life activities vs. the fitness which is easier for me. It is all a learning experience though, isn’t it? We keep learning & keep trying. This is & will always be a life long journey. I have been at it for years & it still is a journey as things & life change all the time.
Great blog & you write in such a real way!
Hi Jody!
I’m learning to become an early morning exercise person. It takes more tries to make some habits stick than others, it seems.
I enjoy the journey even if it seems I whine a bit at times. I’m making a concentrated effort to not filter myself here as much as I do in other places/platforms. It’s going well so far. I’m glad you enjoy it!
Thanks so much for your encouragement. I needed that. =)
I thought about you and how I’d made a promise to share this journey with you even when I screw up.
—————-
I love that and am currently experiencing my own (fingerquote) failure (unFQ) which Im actually excited to share and blog about.
Im choosing not to see it as a failure but a reassessment reprioritizing and making a new and better choice for me.
1. Dude, I just saw that we both posted about dealing with stress on the same day. You ACED me with the dog-licking example though. Blog failure! ::mopes::
Hehe! =)
I’ve had a list of new choices to make lately. Figuring out better or best is much harder than good vs. bad.
I’m learning.
Day 6 — back to snowshoeing! I was up at 7:00 (well, awake at 7:00, up at 7:05 8=) and was able to volunteer at my daughter’s school. They have a couple hundred acres of forest and it has wonderful hiking/skiing/snowshoeing trails that are part of the phys-ed program. My son (in SK) has been out once already on the snowshoes. The skiing program starts with Gr 1.
Once all the kids were suited up and ready to go, we had about 1 hour of wandering through the forest before it was time to head in. I don’t know exactly how much ground we covered, but I know it was at least 3km which is 50% over my modification. I even ran a little to keep up with the kids going downhill!
On a sad note, the right snowshoe had a bit of a meltdown. I repaired it last year with rawhide laces and the decking wore through the rawhide. I’ll have to do more repairs with some other material, but that won’t happen for a bit. So, day 7 will have to have another activity 8=(
Snowshoeing with the kids sounds fun! I’m happy to hear that your children go to a school that lets them out and gets them moving. Many schools don’t and I think that hurts our future.
::mourns quietly for fallen snowshoe::
More firewood tomorrow! =)
Well, I’ve finally got the blog updated for days 3 thru 6 (all in one post). You’ll find the day 3 video and pictures of the fallen snowshoe.
And don’t despair about day 7 — kids to the rescue again. My son’s JK class is going snowshoeing this afternoon and the school has snowshoes for volunteers to borrow, so I’m heading out to do that soon! Safe the firewood for another day!
Sick as a dog today and yesterday so no go on the exercise, but I am sticking to water and food specifics.Hope to kick this bug and go forward with the plan.
I hope you feel better soon. Great job on the water and food plan.
Feel better soon! Drink lots of water. =)
Hi everyone… just one more day to go!
Seth, you are being too tough with yourself. Yes you are accomplishing several different goals, yes, you started this challenge, yes, you tell us about your waking up early everyday in an almost poetic and inspirational but yes, you are also human.
I completely agree with Carla when she says “Im choosing not to see it as a failure but a reassessment reprioritizing and making a new and better choice for me”.
Those are beautiful words. And as long as we are alive and acceptably healthy, we will continue having the chance to correct what we did that was far from the expected result.
If running 10k today will realy make you twice as happy, by all means, do it. But if it is as a punishment, avoid being so hard on yourself. We are still going to be here tomorrow thinking the best of you and your challenge and now with the added benefit of confirming that you are as normal as all of us.
After reading your posts and most of our comments yesterday night and the new post today I’m thinking that maybe some of our behavior is a consequence of our mishandling of different emotions. That can result in a compulsive result, maybe it is overeating,
overcoking, over many things. I know people that over exercise also as a result of a mistake on the way they handle their emotions so… relax and enjoy it… yes, you woke up half an hour late today… well… you woke up half an hour late… without setting the alarm… that’s quite an accomplishment according to many people, starting with myself and honestly, everything is as good is it was yesterday. This is far from saying that we should be permisive and take challenges lightly, just remember that first of all, this journey to lose the weight and regain our health has to start with loving ourselves.
Now, forget about the sheepish look and be happy for your bright idea of creating the pass. Your striders are now forced to see you just as Seth, one of us, rather than as Super Seth but well… things happen and we will all have to live with that ;o)
Just remember to set the alarm tonight!
Just finished day 7. I had a headache shortly after I started and wanted to quit. The hills were not kind to me. I persevered and feel really good for doing it.
Back from my walk, I read your post about failure. Seth, honestly, you’re being too hard on yourself. I totally get it. I’ve lived it most of my life. I will guarantee you are harder on yourself than anyone else. It’s not productive.
The old cliche – it’s a marathon, not a sprint – never really worked for me. What put the issue in perspective for me was comparing it to school. I was a good student and worked hard. I had subjects that weren’t my best, teachers I didn’t like and exams that kicked my butt. I never once had a bad test and thought “That’s it. I’m a failure.” And, yet, missing a workout, eating junk or eating too much would put me on right on the “You failed” path.
Now, I don’t think in terms of failure but disappointments. ‘I’m disappointed I didn’t do better’ holds less power than ‘I failed’. For me, disappointments are motivating, failures provoke surrender.
I guess my question is Why didn’t you go for a run at 5:30? A 10K run sounds too much like punishment.
I can’t tell you how motivating this project is to me. It’s an awesome forum.
“I wrote for awhile, replied to some emails, and chatted a bit online”
I don’t know you, but what I have seen of you so far, you are a supportive person and generous with replies. You have sacrificed much time to lift others. That’s a WONDERFUL quality.
But remember your own oxygen mask.
Here’s my report:
I did my 5K…but not at 0′Dark-thirty, because I, too, stayed up late…until 1:00 a.m. …trying to milk every minute of my birthday!
http://fitby41maybe42.blogspot.com/2010/01/psc-day-6.html
Awesome walk.
Can’t believe its almost over! Today was freezing, so I didn’t walk to school, though I did walk home. I just had a lovely little dinner, and will do a handful of laps of my living room soon =D.
Okay…big no-go day for me too. Spouse and cat awoke at 3 a.m., breakfast at 4 a.m., went BACK TO BED at 5 a.m. Didn’t make it to morning mass. Long client meeting this afternoon, snow, and crappy roads kept me from heading back out to the gym.
How to deal with it? Tomorrow’s another day!
At least I got some strength training with small weights in – it helped!
I have an inherent *need* to be the best at everything. With that said, most of the things I have failed at could be categorized as the crawling type. Mostly because I have too many things going on and not enough focus juice to pay attention.
Still… the old me would run to the fridge or want to hide under the covers.
The improved and wiser me deals with it head on and tries to find ways to turn the failures into wins. Such as you have with your small misstep today.
)
Still, what would life be without failures? I’m not saying we need to swim in them. But hey, it gives us a chance as individuals to improve. We fall but then we pick ourselves up by our bootstraps, dust ourselves off and continue on our journey to success.
)
And hey…. we’re all allowed at least one misstep. ;o)
Your tomorrow will be filled with wins! I can just feel it!
~Kellie
No crawling or shock failure here. Shock is solely that it is already Thursday! All the New Year’s resolution gym people continue to dominate the gym so it’s still crowded working out around them as they muddle through “how does this machine work” and generally ignore gym etiquette.
Oh well. They will either stick with it as a lifestyle choice or fall out by the end of the month.
I have failed miserably with Challenge #1 but I’m totally cool w/it. I knew from the get-go that nothing wakes me up early other than training on my bike and it’s too cold & windy for all of that here now and I’m still letting my hand (not broken after all!!) heal. That being said it’s so ON for Challenge 2! I can handle 250 crunches and eating different green veggies (or differently prepared) daily.
I tried to sign up for the next challenge but got an error by the way.
I love what you wrote about failure and you’re right, Seth. You did promise us and you are still human-thanks for writing from the heart.
I’ll echo what several others have said about being too hard on yourself, because you probably can’t hear it too much. I’m 52, and have spent way, way too much of my life expecting myself to be perfect, and kicking myself down the street when I can’t manage it (which is always). Enough, already!
You got up 30 minutes late. So what… ? (and I mean that in the kindest way possible). Truly. So what? So you move on from there. Which it sounds like you did, but you’re giving yourself a pretty hard time about it.
I really like your analysis of finding little ways to “win” each day and give yourself some positive experiences. But some days, things just don’t work out quite like you planned.
I’ve come to believe that how you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move forward is one of the very most important things. Because we will, every flippin’ one of us, fall down from time to time!
What I perceived from that excellent article is that the logos have become less artistic over the years. I guess everyone wants to simplify to make their logos easier to remember.
My Day 6 is done.